Discovering How Your Child Learns Best

Many parents who teach their children at home run into moments of frustration: the lesson works wonders one day, but the next your child seems totally lost. You may feel that you’re not “doing it right” as a teacher—but very often, the issue isn’t about effort or capability. It’s about how your child learns compared to how you teach.

Two different roles, one shared goal

In a homeschooling environment (or in any teaching setup), there are really two key people working together toward the same outcome:

• You (the teacher/guide)
  
  

• Your child (the student/learner)
  
  

Tension or misalignment often comes not from a lack of care, but from a mismatch in learning preferences vs teaching methods. If your child processes information differently than you naturally present it, it can feel like you’re speaking in different languages.

What is a “learning preference”?

A learning preference is the way in which a child feels most comfortable receiving, processing, and using new information. It’s not fixed; it can shift depending on the subject, their age, their mood, or the context. But knowing what kinds of methods tend to resonate with your child gives you powerful tools for helping them learn well and feel confident.

Here are some common preferences:

Why understanding these preferences matters

Knowing your child’s learning preferences isn’t just “nice to have”—it can actually make a big difference in how well they learn, how much they enjoy learning, and how confident they feel. Here are some of the benefits:

1. Greater motivation
   When learning methods align with what feels natural to the child, they’re more likely to engage, persist through challenging topics, and approach learning with curiosity instead of frustration.
   
   

2. Boosted confidence
   Success breeds confidence. If the child sees themselves succeeding because the learning “clicked,” they often take more initiative and are more willing to try harder things.
   
   

3. More effective learning
   Matching methods to preferences can be especially helpful in areas where the child struggles. For instance, if math feels dry with textbook problems, using physical objects or games can bring it alive.
   
   

Learning preferences are flexible, not rigid

It’s important to remember:

• Preferences change over time, depending on the subject, the context, or as the child develops.
  
  

• A preference doesn’t mean “only this way works.” A child may have a dominant way of learning, but they still benefit from exposure to other methods.
  
  

• Risk of “label trap”: if you fix on one style, you might inadvertently limit opportunities for development in other modes.
  
  

For example, a child might be mostly auditory in language arts, but when it comes to geometry, they prefer drawing diagrams or using tactile tools.

Practical suggestions for applying learning preferences

Here are some ways to observe and incorporate preferences into everyday teaching:

• Observe closely. Watch how your child reacts: Do they doodle while listening? Do they get restless sitting still? Do they prefer reading quietly or discussing?
  
  

• Ask them. Sometimes children can articulate what they like—“I understand better when you draw it out,” or “I prefer you read it to me rather than me reading it myself.”
  
  

• Mix it up. Try lessons that combine different modalities. For example, when learning a history topic, you could read a text, listen to an audio, watch a video, draw a timeline, and then act out a scene.
  
  

• Adapt materials. Use tools such as flashcards, diagrams, audio recordings, hands-on experiments, notebooks—depending on what seems to make things click.
  
  

• Be flexible. If something isn’t working one way, switch. What worked yesterday might not be the best method for another topic.
  
  

• Reflect periodically. As the child grows, revisit what methods are working—what felt natural six months ago may feel stale or insufficient now.
  
  

The big picture: learning preferences + teaching style

Your child’s preferences are one part of the equation. Another is how you teach. The most fruitful homeschooling or educational relationships come when there’s synergy between how you teach and how your child learns. When there’s a mismatch, that’s not a failing—it’s an opportunity. You can adapt.

The aim is to create a learning environment where:

 

• Your child feels seen and understood.
  
  

• Learning is not just tolerated, but enjoyed.
  
  

• There’s room for challenge without overwhelming frustration.